The Way I Am...

There are people who have fixed goals and dreams in their lives. They know what they want and they have their lives and careers planned right from their graduation till they are thrown their retirement party at the end of it all… And then there’s me.

The First thing I wanted to be was a Spy. This was the period I was drowned in Jeffrey Archers and Robert Ludlums and learnt that KGB was Komitet Gazudastrevenoy Bezopasnosti. But anyway, the spy guy seemed to have the best life possible- cool gadgets, very helpful contacts, one of who invariably turned out to be a very good-looking lass and free trips to every country in the world! That dream’s not dead and buried yet. I DO know 5 languages, with fluencies ranging from perfect to Yeah-I-can-Survive-in-Spain. And I know three moves in Taekwondo. And I can tell a Browning Automatic from a Luger…

Then I wanted to be a Fighter Pilot… but that dream never took off!!! That’s because by the time I realized I wanted to be that, I already had a minor power in my right eye and thought it has not worsened, they say that you need 20/20 in both eyes to be a pilot… I think I have 15 or something in my right. But still, it would’ve been fun to take a MIG-21 up there and do a cobra-maneuver in it, wouldn’t it?

I think next up was Auto-Journalist. It would be the dream-job, really. I mean what other job lets you take Porches and BMWs at record breaking speeds around racetracks AND pays you for doing it??! I tell you, these auto-journos are the luckiest people on the face of this earth. PLUS the free trip all over the world to International Auto Expos to ogle at models… of cars, of course.

There have been cranky times when I’ve wanted to be nothing. You know, like, carry a backpack, hitchhike all over the world and do odd jobs here and there to refill the wallet. And as I already said, I AM a man who walks alone! Don’t know how wise a career option THAT is though…

And THEN I wanted to be a Football Player. Clearly, I have the pace and I’m not an old dog yet so I CAN learn new tricks. Besides the only time when I get unrivalled joy, other than when I am driving my car, is when I have the football at my feet and am juggling with it. Sure, it is the most physically demanding of all my dreams, but at least it won’t get me killed like Spying might… I think! Of course, all this was before I broke my foot. Now, I can’t even run.

You think there must be a latest fad, right? OF COURSE, there is. Now, I just want to be a Stand-Up Comedian. I know I’m funny when I want to be, and it shouldn’t take too much for me to morph my situational humour to the stand-up kind. Or I could just use some of the signs put up by our dear Traffic Police. I mean, there is this one which says “Accident Prone Zone. DEAD slow”. What’re they trying to say??? That if the accident doesn’t get you, going slow will? That either way… you’re dead???

So you see, I’m a very multi-faceted individual (Ha! That’s for you all who thought I’ll say CONFUSED individual!). And as befalls a man of so many talents as me, I seem to be faced with a problem of plenty. Well, I guess I just have to learn to live with it because… it’s just The Way I Am…