Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Mori

He

The bank was more crowded than usual. That didn’t help at all. He looked at the clock on the wall. 10:45. He joined the queue which looked the shortest, and started tapping his fingers on his thighs, as was his habit when he was in a hurry. The line didn’t seem to move at all, while the clock just ticked away merrily. Suddenly he heard a scream from the teller counter two places away from his. A small-made woman in jeans and a ragged T-shirt was waving a box in front of the teller. She swung it around at anyone who tried to get closer to her, and kept yelling something at the teller. He could make out the words ‘bomb’ and ‘cash’ over the assorted yelling of others around him. He broke into a cold sweat. This is how I’m going to die. The stand-off continued for a while, with the woman still yelling at the teller to take out the cash, and the teller paralyzed with fear. Finally the teller seemed to regain some sort of composure and started stuffing the cash into a bag. The shabbily-clad woman grabbed it, and placed the box in front of the teller. He watched as the woman slowly backed out of the bank, and then his eyes traveled to the wall-clock again. 11:35. His heart sank.

She

They returned from the trip to the port as scheduled. It had actually been quite an informative trip, and she was filled with the feeling of having done something good for the day. However, after she left the children in class and walked towards the office, she noticed some sort of commotion in the area. A lot of people were crowding around the Principal’s office. As she enquired around, she gathered that some parent had attacked the principal. Attacked?? And that no one was being allowed to school till the police got to the place. No, she thought, that that cannot be. She looked down at her wrist-watch. 10:50 already. The police were not expected for some time now. They were gathering all the staff in the office, so that the police could talk to them together and hence save time. Save time, how ironical. They all waited in the office for the police to arrive. When they finally arrived, they made the usual statement about how they would not take much of their time. She looked down at her watch and her heart skipped a beat. 11:45.

He

At the lab, it took all his will to keep his mind from wandering to the events earlier in the morning and concentrating on finishing the paper. This was it, eight years of single-minded dedication, towards a problem that was 8 decades old. When his close friend from college had suggested taking this up for their PhD thesis, he had never thought they would actually solve the problem. The most he had hoped for was to just try and understand the problem at all. And yet, here it was in front of them, the solution. Like so many others, its genius lay in its simplicity. He surveyed their final paper with a look of affection, and then turned to his partner and gave him a huge grin.

They agreed they would present their paper later in the evening. He ran out of the lab, it was 10:30 already. He figured he could drop in at the bank, draw some money, and surprise her with one huge bouquet. She loved surprises.

She

The children were being very well-behaved at the port. Today being a Saturday, they had decided to cancel classes for Standard VII, and take them on a sort of educational tour to the port instead. To see how the big ships and the containers worked. Children are always fascinated by big things, she thought. Just like he is by big numbers. She smiled to herself. The smart Navy man who was showing them around was explaining something about how they were planning to use trained dolphins and sea lions to help with port security. This was not officially announced yet, but they were soon going to. All this barely registered in her mind. All she was thinking off was dropping the kids back at school. And after that…

They

She sent the pen flying across the room in an arc, but it missed its intended target by quite a distance. She didn’t calculate the projectile velocity right, he thought. Wait, that’s not the problem right now. She’s really angry this time. He watched for signs that would show she had blown enough steam. So far she was showing none. She was still fuming at him for having completely forgotten about their dinner plan the previous night. And having come home at around 2 in the night and gone straight to sleep. And for having done that for the third night in a row.

He suddenly realized from behind the couch that the projectile attacks on him had stopped. He peeked over the couch to see her sitting on the table, head in her hands. He heaved a sigh of relief. From here, he could handle it. He went over to the table, pulled a chair next to her and said softly, “You know how my work is. I just get caught up in it so much that I don’t even notice the passage of time.” She looked up angrily, and he held his hands up defensively, “I know. I know you work too, and I know this is no excuse. But we’re nearly done with our problem now. Yesterday’s incident will be the last of its kind, I promise. All we need to do today is to compile the result. And after that, I’ll be the best boyfriend a girl ever had” he finished with a smile. He knew she could never hold out against his smile.

She nearly did, staring angrily at him for a full minute. And then, still staring straight into his eyes, she said “If that is all that you have to do today, you should be done by an hour or so, right? Around 10 o’clock?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

"Good, then listen. My school work shouldn’t take 2 hours of my time today either. So, we meet for an early lunch, at the place we were supposed to have dinner yesterday. Yes?”

Now he was on a sticky wicket. Sure, he had only one hour of work to do today. But then, he could never tell. He hesitated.

“I can’t go on doing all the waiting”, she continued “If you cannot do this for me today, then… I guess we should call it off. This whole ‘us’ thing, today.”

That one took him by surprise. “What? Whoa, let’s not go to such extremes here. Of course I can make it, by… 11o’clock? This time I’ll get it right, trust me.” He brought out the smile again. This time it had a bit more of the impact he had hoped for.

“Ok then. But remember, 11 A.M, sharp. If not…”

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Men's Rules

I know all of this is cliched, and been said many times before, and maybe it's not even funny anymore. But, in the interest of every man who is, was and ever will be committed, here it goes, for all the ladies out there...

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

We do not like shopping. We REALLY don't. We're not pretending or something just because we supposedly don't like shopping. Shopping sucks, that's all.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as my football team, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

And Now it's Haikus!

Chemistry classes are just the inspiration, I tell you!

Pictures on the board,
To me, they are stuff drawn by
Egyptians when bored.

One, two, three, four, five
Numbers swimming through the head
Don't drink and derive.

Kids who become men
Feeding mouths from Dawn to Dusk
Still, they look so Zen.

More movies I see
Unique stories maybe fill
A tub, not a sea.

'Sup' means supper, fool.
Not fancy-speak for 'What's up'
Shakespeare's so not cool.

Sweating under sun
Follow masses up and down
Just for salvation.

'Pass the ball', he cried
'Which one?' he asked mockingly
One person, two sides.

Get eight hours of sleep
Yet red-eyed at break of dawn
What to do, I weep.

Staring from under
I've always known I loved you
Do you, I wonder.

Wicket to wicket
Madly running up and down
It's just not cricket!

Where things never grow
Nor decay; without bias
Death levels us so.

The last drop of tear
Leaves the eye, as we wonder
Where we go from here.

Throw stones in a pond,
The waves you get are Rippley,
Believe it or not!

Can it crawl slower?
While in room, it flies so fast
Class never gets over.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

The Crush of Love

Seeing as it is the season for writing poems, I thought I should too, having not written a single poem in all of my previous 53 posts. Besides, if love can't inspire poetry, what can, eh?

Having known her all my life,
She never gave cause for strife.
Fate destined she be mine own
Seeds of love, in my heart sown.

Tonic she was for all my cares,
As we talked of Bulls and Bears.
End of night or start of day,
Somehow she just had her way.

She's the one that's caused my dreams,
While with her, time flies, it seems.
And we go far, far and wide
All the time, she by my side.

Now that we are together
All that I did to get her,
Vanish like dew from leaves' face
When faced by the solar rays.

Like Lennon said - Imagine,
I do too, had she not been.
Aimless nomad been I might
If not with her every night,

As I fall in her embrace
Childish smile across my face,
Being with her, calm and deep,
How I love my Beauty sleep.

Thank You.