Show's Over

Alright people. World Cup 2006 is over, The Forza has been with the Azzurri, they defended stoutly, let in only one goal scored by an opponent and that too from a Penalty. They came out of a scandal exactly like in Spain '82 when Paolo Rossi, accused of match-fixing went on to top score. France defied gravity to reach the finals, made a match of it, then Zidane made a meal of it. Whether he lost his head by using his head, whether he was provoked or revoked or coked, we'll never know. Fact is, that didn't lose France the World Cup. Or maybe it did.

What I'm saying is, time for all you normal people to get back to your original lives! All you who couldn't tell Joe Cole from Ashley or Andy or Rio Ferdinand from Les or Antoine and all those whose only connection to Chelsea was as Bill Clinton's daughter, go back to leading your football-empty lives. Aggressive marketing by all the sponsors and jobless 24-hour News channels have ensured that the Pakatthu Veetu Mami knows that Zidane is the name of a footballer and not the latest Chevrolet model. Same reasons responsible for hotly debated matches on buses and local trains by people who, on a normal day, would've been debating... actually, nothing. So all of you who found out only last month that 4-4-2 was a reference to a formation and not the Toll Free number for free marriage counselling, please, return to normalcy.

Look, I'm not making accusations of illiteracy without foundation. And I'm not trashing everyone who's been talking football with me either. I've had some very engrossing conversations with a few. And I'm not claiming to be a know-it-all too. I didn't know anyone in the German back four before the World Cup. Nor that Ze Roberto would start for Brazil, though that was probably because Edmilson put himself out through injury. But I do know enough, not to do these...

1. Two is company, three is a crowd, four is football mania. So there's four of us, sitting around, watching Spain-Ukraine. Yes, the match where everyone hailed Spain as world champions, which, as always, didn't happen. So anyway, the match is on, and suddenly this one, let's call him Neo, speaks up, "Did you see England yesterday? Beckham alone was wearing some armband!"
Wait. Backup. I did NOT just hear that. Someone actually ridiculed Beckham saying that he ALONE was wearing an armband. Of COURSE he alone was wearing an armband, a team has only one captain and only he gets to wear the armnband! See my boy, the Captain's armband is a thing of pride, only one person in a team gets to wear it. It was not one of Beckham's Victorian mistakes, like his Sarong at a party. This time he was adhering perfectly to his dress code, surprisingly. So please go read Football Attire again.

2. Opening game, Germany-Costa Rica. I still maintain, that was one of the most open games of the World Cup, maybe because it was the opening game!!!! (those of you who want to kill me for that, I'm available at anandn86@yahoo.co.in. Please contact only if you're female, between 17-19, and single.) Anyway, that digression apart, I was watching it in the peaceful solitude of my home, when Wanchope scores from a through ball, where the German Rightback had played him onside. Over enthu friend, let's call him Morpheus, messages- "That was offside!!!!!!!!" I'm like "What bull, the Rightback clearly played him on." No message for some time. Commentator looks at replays and confirms what I said. Message from Morpheus, "Strong boy, that's what the commentator said too! Rightback played him on, whatever that means!"
Deja Vu. Wait. Back up again. You can pass judgement on what offside is, but you do not know what playing someone on is??? Ok, I thought offside was the most complicated rule of the jogo bonito, but clearly, people also need to be taught that when you're not offside, you're onside! And playing someone on, is when a defender has failed to hold the line of the backfour, and has strayed deeper than the others, thereby allowing an attacker to remain onside when the pass was made. Is ok? I can watch my Football in peace now?

See, all I'm saying is, I appreciate all of your enthusiasm and euphoria and energy towards a game which is currently being played in India at a level of the English Fourth Division. It is a start, that so many people learn about the game, and follow it with so much passion, and support Italy and Brazil and France and England because India couldn't make it, and declare their undying lover for Zizou inspite of all he's done (currently, he must be concerned about his orientation... too many people love him). But let's not get too ahead of ourselves, shall we? We still know the Sachin Sandstorm innings and the '96 Quarterfinals against Pakistan and the Natwest chase much better than Beckhams' halfline goal against Wimbledon and Zidane's overhead kick against Leverkusen and United's comeback at the '99 Champs League finals to complete an unprecedented treble... Therefore... Show's Over folks, let's get you all home and get you some sleep before West Indies-2007 :)