It's been a while. A week to be exact. Which is not much time, considering this is not my profession and so I needn't be doing it as religiously as I would, say, be studying. Yes, that was a joke, you can all smile knowingly. But it is such a compulsion to pour out the smallest, dullest, most insignificant happenings in your even more insignificant life into this webpage that you wonder if people don't have any concept of privacy anymore. The sad part is that it is so widely done as well, and getting ever so popular. The world is shrinking. But not so much that it shrinks into MY own, separate world. No Thanks. You can all shrink till just outside my world.
I don't know why I put that Floyd Song as the title. I don't know much these days. It's all abstract, a vague collection of thoughts and ideas and desires. The sinking realization that my life is headed nowhere suddenly rammed home with startling clarity in class today. Well, not nowhere, I THINK I can vaguely see paths laid out in front of me, leading to places. So I guess I must say I don't know where I WANT my life to go, instead of saying it's going nowhere. Yes, take the blame. It's easier that way.
I went through my Yahoo Mail Inbox today. The oldest mail I had was dated 25 July, 2004. It was one of those jokes which come through forwards. It was a good one, I wouldn't have kept it otherwise. I smiled when I read mails from my friends all excited about the first few weeks in college, whichever one they were in. And I was being pretty excited too, my Sent Items said so. "Oh wow, this campus is really cool.", "The Chemistry professor is unbelievable.", "The Computer Facility has Net connection at the speed of light!" Innocent, awe-struck wonderings of a boy lost in an unfamiliar place. And around November of first year in college, I saw the first signs of the crack showing. "I'm a man broken by the system he tried so hard to get into.". Now of course, I'm beyond all of that. Take life as it comes. Go with the flow. Things will happen when they have to. Call me a believer in destiny.... or someone resigned to fate.
Room-cleaning. With a vengeance. Trying to get back some of the lost me. I'm usually very ordered, I like to see things neatly stacked up and symmetric. Symmetry is pleasing to the eye. My room was a mess. The table was littered, the cupboard had clothes in a heap and there's a lizard in one corner of the room which lives in this room more than I do. Therefore the room-cleaning. Swept it. Once, twice, thrice. The dust simply wouldn't stop coming. So I gave up. Rearranged the table. Ordered the clothes in the cupboard. Why am I saying all this? See what I meant, in my opening paragraph?
What do I do when the quizzes are over. Where do the 24 hours go on normal days? Frightening thought. That absolute murder of time could come so naturally and without our realising it. What DID I do yesterday??? Um, I don't know! So there's a resolution made, to do something... anything! As ever. To be broken at the first possible chance. Oh well, at least I realised that I don't realise I'm wasting time. It's a start.
It's been a while. For many things. It's been a while since... I drove my car. Since I watched Live Cricket. Since I read a novel, lying on the bed, munching on horribly unhealthy snacks. Since I went to the beach alone and sat at the water's edge and listened to the waves. Since I watched the Saturday Night movie on Star Movies. Since I've been to a friend's house. Since I've had a pure, cold shower (Chennai's becoming COLD!). Since I sent someone a greeting card. Since I've listened to a very old song on the radio. Since I played Minesweeper. Since I wrote a short story, just for the heck of it. Since I sat in front of my book collection, took them all out and arranged them again in exactly the same order...
Since I've been myself...
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Hello! I'm still single too!
OK, it just HAD to happen. I mean, if something becomes part of your life, no wait, becomes FULLY your life for five days, you just have to crap about it on this otherwise useless piece of webspace. Jeez man, visit any IITians blogsite and it's all Saarang, Saarang, Saarang! I've always been the rebel (I AM, really. See, I got 486 in my boards and got into this institution and am generally following the 'optimum path'... how rebellious is THAT!) and decided I'll NOT write about Saarang. And so now I'm writing about NOT writing about Saarang. And hence I'm writing about Saarang anyway. Man! Nothing ever goes the way I want it to!
Everyone knows Saarang by Day. But hey, I'm the man who slept at 5:30 on two nights and didn't sleep at all one night! I caught the sunrise of 29th January, 2006, folks, and it's NOT because I woke up early! So anyway, not sleeping and not eating and drinking loads of soft drinks and then not sleeping again can put your system slightly out of sync. As in you'll feel like vomiting all the time, but there's nothing in your stomach, so you can't vomit. And your stomach has this constant pain, but you don't know why, because as has already been established, there's nothing in your stomach. Wait... Except for the gas from all the soft drinks. Oh! So THAT'S it??? OK, NOW I know...
Not sleeping is this wonderful thing. You can feel very drunk when you don't sleep, and I got 5 people concluding independently that I was drunk on one of the days when I was actually just lacking some 30 hours of sleep. But yeah, that's the closest I can ever get to being high, being the 'rebel' I am. Another thing about sleeplessness is that you fall asleep in a micro-second when you hit the bed next time. It's a bleeding painful thing, to be in bed and not get sleep. That's when you start reviewing your life or current situation or the day ahead and you feel very down. On the other hand, lose some sleep and you can feel high for that time and also sleep off instantly without getting into angsty reviews of your hopeless life.
ALSO, you can walk around zombie-like all day with your head down and your mind switched off. THAT is a very helpful thing, especially at Saarang. It helps you to forget about the title of this post and walk above all the mindless flirtations of all the lowly mortals who strive incessantly to grab the attention of the fairer sex. In other words, it lets you forget that you are this give-up guy who can't get a girl all his life. So might as well do the "these grapes are sour" thing instead of accepting the inevitable.
Last, but not the very least, We, The Newsletter Team of Saarang 2006, are very happy that The Hindu noticed our very dedicated work towards improving the general excitement level at Saarang and decided to honour us by putting us on Page 2 of their daily publication (THAT or because they WERE the Newsletter Sponsors and we religiously mentioned that in every issue!). We also realise why they have people who do day-shifts and people who do night-shifts. We'd also like to tell them that there are a few things the Newsletter Team created in their long nights of mostly sitting around before eventualy beginning work at around 4...
The Newsletter Anthem :"Eef you come today..." (Rajkumar and Band)
The Newsletter Addition to Lingo: Khunntrrie Maxxx
The Newsletter Revelation :There actually IS a band called Repertoire Dogs!
The Quote that didn't come up : During WM, one of the participants goes, "this is my own composition by me..."
Goodbye Saarang... Hello boring old life.
Everyone knows Saarang by Day. But hey, I'm the man who slept at 5:30 on two nights and didn't sleep at all one night! I caught the sunrise of 29th January, 2006, folks, and it's NOT because I woke up early! So anyway, not sleeping and not eating and drinking loads of soft drinks and then not sleeping again can put your system slightly out of sync. As in you'll feel like vomiting all the time, but there's nothing in your stomach, so you can't vomit. And your stomach has this constant pain, but you don't know why, because as has already been established, there's nothing in your stomach. Wait... Except for the gas from all the soft drinks. Oh! So THAT'S it??? OK, NOW I know...
Not sleeping is this wonderful thing. You can feel very drunk when you don't sleep, and I got 5 people concluding independently that I was drunk on one of the days when I was actually just lacking some 30 hours of sleep. But yeah, that's the closest I can ever get to being high, being the 'rebel' I am. Another thing about sleeplessness is that you fall asleep in a micro-second when you hit the bed next time. It's a bleeding painful thing, to be in bed and not get sleep. That's when you start reviewing your life or current situation or the day ahead and you feel very down. On the other hand, lose some sleep and you can feel high for that time and also sleep off instantly without getting into angsty reviews of your hopeless life.
ALSO, you can walk around zombie-like all day with your head down and your mind switched off. THAT is a very helpful thing, especially at Saarang. It helps you to forget about the title of this post and walk above all the mindless flirtations of all the lowly mortals who strive incessantly to grab the attention of the fairer sex. In other words, it lets you forget that you are this give-up guy who can't get a girl all his life. So might as well do the "these grapes are sour" thing instead of accepting the inevitable.
Last, but not the very least, We, The Newsletter Team of Saarang 2006, are very happy that The Hindu noticed our very dedicated work towards improving the general excitement level at Saarang and decided to honour us by putting us on Page 2 of their daily publication (THAT or because they WERE the Newsletter Sponsors and we religiously mentioned that in every issue!). We also realise why they have people who do day-shifts and people who do night-shifts. We'd also like to tell them that there are a few things the Newsletter Team created in their long nights of mostly sitting around before eventualy beginning work at around 4...
The Newsletter Anthem :"Eef you come today..." (Rajkumar and Band)
The Newsletter Addition to Lingo: Khunntrrie Maxxx
The Newsletter Revelation :There actually IS a band called Repertoire Dogs!
The Quote that didn't come up : During WM, one of the participants goes, "this is my own composition by me..."
Goodbye Saarang... Hello boring old life.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
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